There better be some Harry Potter jokes
The US embassy cables give enough material to write about for weeks. The best thing is, they’ve only published 220 cables out of 251,287 so far. Any news? That depends. If you thought international politics was a game countries played by the rules, you’ll be shocked – the US is playing dirty. If you believe there’s an Arab conspiracy to ‘Islamize’ the world, you’ll be surprised – to put it mildly: Islamic countries do not have a particular liking for each other.
Now even if you did not think you that you lived in an ideal world, you might still be amazed. Basically, you have to be quite the cynic to have seen everything coming. Nevertheless, it’s not that unreasonable for the US to spy on the Secretary General of the UN, when you compare it to fabricating evidence to start a war. Nor that the Saudis wrote the lyrics for that John McCain song, ‘bomb Iran’ – Sunnis, Shiites; with that war in Iraq, al-Qaeda, Iran etc. one ought to have some insight in Middle Eastern relations by now.
What I personally find most amusing, are the comments about the ‘world leaders’. Some media find them offensive, but that depends just on how you look at them. They’re very close to the truth, or otherwise very close to our prejudices. All the same, let’s go over the most important ones and analyze them one by one.
At the end of 2008 someone remarked that Medvedev was “playing Robin to Putin’s Batman.” Say what you like, but that’s quite flattering. The first months of his presidency Medvedev was playing Peanut to Putin’s Jeff Dunham[1], so he’s moving up in the world quickly. Medvedev appears to be growing stronger the last years, so who knows: in two years Putin might playing B.A. Baracus next to Medvedev’s Hannibal.
An important advisor to the sultan of Oman said Muammar Gaddafi, the Libyan leader, is "just strange". I don’t know if anyone ever noticed, but we’re talking about a guy who takes a tent with him wherever he goes. Strange is an understatement.
The South African International Relations Minister branded Robert Mugabe “the crazy old man”. For someone who knows nothing about topography the “the” might be debatable (after all, there are many crazy old men in the world). However, Mugabe lives next door to the South Africans. This guy’s the boss of a country (Zimbabwe) that was once known as the granary of Africa. But, he threw out the farmers, gave their lands to people who knew nothing about farming, and was then surprised his people were starving. Not to mention that he’s literally done everything to remain in power, even though he’s well over eighty.
Apparently, Hamid Karzai, is "an extremely weak man who did not listen to facts but was instead easily swayed by anyone who came to report even the most bizarre stories or plots against him". Now we all knew Karzai was corrupt. We knew he does not have control over his country (and probably never will). Now we also know he would fit perfectly in a US Bible Belt town, where people believe Obama is (secretly) a Muslim, who wants to make America a socialist country and started Medicare to kill old people.
Now, Berlusconi is feckless, vain and parties too much. Anything new? Sarko’s style is authoritarian and thinned-skinned. Did you ever think differently? Ms. Merkel is ‘risk averse and rarely creative’. That’s not a crime: die Mannschaft won three World Championships that way.
It’s all not so bad. It’s worse not to be mentioned at all. Still, much is yet to come and that means fair chances for everyone. Now we’re going to see just how important our former Prime Minister, Mr. Balkenende of The Netherlands,[2] really was. After all we’ve done for the US and NATO, there better be some Harry Potter jokes as well.
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